Dave Barry's Year-End Recap

This is a wonderful essay by humorist Dave Barry. I love how he slams both parties, but in a humorous way. Just when one party gets all puffed up, thinking Dave must be one of them, he turns on them. Enjoy!

http://www.miamiherald.com/dave_barry/story/359826.html

More Christmas Pictures

Here's some more Christmas day pictures! If you look closely, you can see the little car traveling on the tracks that Dylan is standing over. It was so cute. And

that's Aja standing outside in the Christmas snow! See the flakes on her head.

Sing Along with Amber

Someone sent me this link - it's hilarious - but a little raunchy - so be warned! Enjoy!

http://www.singsnap.com/snap/r/ba100d4dc

White Christmas

We had the first White Christmas in Oregon in 20 years! It didn't stick for too long, but it was pretty while it lasted. Big, white flakes; so pretty, but I couldn't get a good picure of the snow falling. I think you might be able to see some of the flakes in this picture of Lynzi standing outside, catching them. The other picture is from my bedroom window after it had been snowing for about an hour.

I'm Dark Orchid

Here's a "color quiz" to take. Turns out I'm dark orchid--Don't really like that color, but you know, a lot of the time I don't like me either. This really describes me pretty well; I'll definitely try to do a layout with this color - if I can find some paper of that color!

the spacefem.com html color quiz

Here's what mine said:

Your dominant hues are blue and magenta. You're the one who goes to all the parties but doesn't quite fit in at every one... you know what you want, but are afraid of what the world might think of it. You're a little different and that's okay with them, and if you're smart it's okay with you too Your saturation level is higher than average - You know what you want, but sometimes know not to tell everyone. You value accomplishments and know you can get the job done, so don't be afraid to run out and make things happen. Your outlook on life is brighter than most people's. You like the idea of influencing things for the better and find hope in situations where others might give up. You're not exactly a bouncy sunshine but things in your world generally look up

Christmas Tree 2007

Here's our Christmas Tree. It's indoors, believe it or not, not a very good picture. It's really a lovely tree, all blue lights and silver ornaments. But in my heart of hearts, I really prefer colored twinkle lights with different ornaments from years before. But since I live with my son and DIL now, it's their choice and their tradition. And I've noticed that my son's generation seems to prefer this type of tree. Has anybody out there in blogland got any opinions? I'd love to hear them.

Twelve Days of Christmas

The following is an essay which I believe was written by Jean Shepherd, who also wrote The Christmas Story.

Miss Agnes Carter
69 Sugarplum Lane
Des Moines,Ia

December 14, 1987

My Dearest John,

I just recieved your lovely gift, a partridge in a pear tree. How thoughtful and beautiful. Thank you for the delightful gift.

Love Always,
Agnes

December 15, 1987

Darling John,

Today your beautiful gift arrived, two turtle doves. I just love them and they remind me of us. I just can't wait to see you and show you how much I love them.
Always and Forever,
Agnes

December 16, 1987

Well, you sweet romantic devil, you've done it again. Three french hens! They really are lovely but don't you think they're a little extravagant? You are so sweet.
See you soon,
Agnes

December 17, 1987

Today when i got home from work there were four calling birds on my front porch. They really are sweet, but a little loud. I really must say sweetheart, You're being TOO kind!
Fondly,
Agnes

December 18, 1987

Dear John,

Oh darling, you are just the sweetest man ever. Five golden rings, one for each finger! They are so beautiful. Thanks so much. To be honest all those birds squawking was beginning to get on my nerves.
Forever yours,
Agnes

December 19, 1987

Dear John,

I woke up this morning and saw six geese a laying in my backyard. So, you're back to the birds again huh? PLEASE don't send anymore birds, the squawking is really giving me a headache, so enough with the birds OK?
Sincerely,
Agnes

December 20, 1987

John,I asked you to stop with the f***ing birds, didn't I????? Well today your seven swans a swimming were dumped in my pool. Ever try to clean a pool with all this bird crap in it? They're running through the whole house and it is beginning to stink. SO STOP WITH THE F***ING BIRDS!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!
Agnes

December 21, 1987

John,

I have had it. I guess you think you're a wit sending eight maids a milking. Well you're half right. Did you realize that the eight maids would have eight COWS, along with them? The whole house and yard smells like a damned barnyard. I feel like screaming, but nobody would hear me over this racket. The neighbors are starting to complain, and one has reported me to the health department. Thanks a lot you jerk!!!!!!!!!!!!
Agnes

December 22, 1987

Listen you idiot,Who do you think I am, P.T. Barnum? You must think i am running a ***ing circus here. Nine pipers piping. Four of them are off key, four more are trying to get in the milk maids bloomers, and the last one is looking longingly at the Guernsey with the long eyelashes. Where do you shop for your gifts, Tortures "R" Us?? I am up to here in cow shit and the city is going to have my house condemned. Go take a flying leap you stinking moron.

I HATE YOUR GUTS FOREVER,
Agnes

December 23, 1987

Hey Shithead!!!

What do I have to do to make you understand? Ten ladies dancing. I don't know how you could call those sluts ladies, they've been balling the pipers all night long. The cows are sick and have diarrhea, you stupid sonofabitch. The only good thing that has happened, is the cows have stomped all over the screeching birds and are killing them one by one. They couldn't die fast enough for me!!! I'll get you for this if it's the last thing I do!!!!!

YOUR SWORN ENEMY,
Agnes

December 24, 1987

YOU'RE A DEAD MAN NOW!!!!!Well this is it, eleven lords a leaping on those maids and ladies.Some of those broads will never walk again! Thankfully the last of the 23 lousy birds croaked this morning. I am up to my ass in dead birds and cow shit, and do you have any idea how much these deadbeat "lords" eat? I'll have to file bankruptcy, thanks to you, you mother-fucker. I despise the ground you walk on, and if I ever see you again, You're one dead S**ofaB****!

SPITTING ON YOUR GRAVE.....
Agnes

The Law Offices of Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe
8756 Main Street
Des Moines, IA

December 25, 1987

Dear Sir:

This is to acknowledge receipt of your latest "gift" of twelve (12) drummers drumming, and to inform you that Miss Agnes Carter has retained this office to, in her words, "sue the fucking pants off the motherfucking sonofabitch". We are confident that the court will agree that damages in this case are extreme. Miss Carters' house has been condemned by the health department, the animal protection society has placed her on their top ten list of wanted animal abusers, and four pregnant milk maids are suing her for child support. Naturally we are counter suing you as the cause of all of this. Have a Merry Christmas, and we will see you in court.

Sincerely yours,


J. Cheatem
Attorney at Law

P.S. Any further personal correspondence to Miss Carter should be sent in care of the Happy Dale Sanitarium.

Christmas Quiz

Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your friends. Okay, here's what you're supposed to do: Just copy this entire blog entry and paste it into a new post on your blog. Change all the answers so that they apply to you. A friend of mine, Jenni, posted it on her blog and suggested people put it in their blogs.

Here we go...

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper - it's so much more Christmassy.

2. Real tree or artificial? I prefer real, but I'm living with my DIL, and she has a fake tree.

3. When do you put up the tree? I don't know, this is my first Christmas with my DIL and she hasn't put it up yet. I used to put up my real tree a week or two after the first of December.

4. When do you take the tree down? I used to take it down New Year's Day.

5. Do you like eggnog? Not really - and I HATE fruitcake!

6. Favorite gift received as a child? When I was about 9 or 10 I got a weaving set. I made potholders and sold them around the neighborhood two for 25cents.

7. Do you have a nativity scene? No.

8. Hardest person to buy for? My father. He is so dang hard! What do you get for an 80-year-old?

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? I think the worst present I got turned out to be one of my favorite. My mom and dad gave all their kids a framed picture of themselves. I thought it was so boring, but now I treasure it.

11. Mail or email Christmas cards? Homemade cards in the mail. I don't do too many of them, because I'm not too good at cards, but I do like to mail them out to a few people.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Dickens' Christmas Carol.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Whenever I have the money, sometime in December.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? I once recycled a fruitcake!.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Christmas Dinner!

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? I think I prefer colored, but clear lights are pretty too.

17. Favorite Christmas song? Silent Night

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Usually stay home.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Hmm, let's see: Dasher, Dancer, Comet, Cupid, Blitzen... nope, guess not. Sigh.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? We used to always have an Angel.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? One on Christmas Eve, and the rest on Christmas morning. Don't know how my DIL will do it.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Can't really think of anything.

23. What I love most about Christmas? Watching the kids open their presents -- and finding something special for someone that they really like.---LOVE IT!!!WISHING YOU ALL A WONDERFUL & JOYOUS CHRISTMAS!!!! Hope to read your "list" soon!!!

Do Not Allow Anyone to Steal Your Peace

The following is an essay by Kelly of www.flylady.net. She gave me permission to publish it here, and I plan to read it everyday until I don't need to anymore.

We are heading in to the holidays, this usually means we are going to be spending time with friends and family members. We often find that the ones we are closest to are the ones that will say things to us that are not meant to hurt (or sometimes they are) but yet you feel the hurt. There are several ways to not allow yourself to get caught in that downward spiral of hurting.Remember that you are Special!! No matter what anyone says to you or how they say it, you are a very special person because you are YOU! You are a smart, capable, loving individual that is FLYing!Remember that you can't change how people behave – you can only change your reaction to their behavior. This means if your cousin Millie always looks down her nose at you and has a tendency to treat you poorly – feel pity for her because most likely she is a very insecure person that can only feel good about herself when she is hurting others to make herself feel good. People like this do not know what it is like to FLY!Remember that "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" (Eleanor Roosevelt) This means that you need to keep things in perspective and not give permission to yourself to get caught up in feeling inferior to anyone!!! Do not give anyone the power to hurt you, keep the power of FLYing around you as a shield and wear it proudly.Keep in mind an old saying "those who anger you conquer you". This means that if you give someone the power to hurt you or make you angry than they have won. They have managed to beat you up without straining themselves because you gave them the ability to do so! Keep in mind that unhappy people have a need to ridicule or talk behind your back and yet some "helpful" family member will want to make sure you know about it, sometimes to protect you and sometimes to be the gossiping middleman. I have experienced this in many ways and I promise you that truly the best way to handle this is with grace and dignity. Do not respond to mean and unhappy people. It is not worth getting dragged into a family nightmare. The unhappy ones always have a way of twisting things so that they will always be someone else's fault. Do not bother getting down in the gutter of misery with these kinds of people. Remind yourself that you are FLYing and that loving yourself is far more important than what unhappy and miserable people think or say about you.

YOU know you are worthy and deserving of love not hurt. When you feel that you can no longer let things slide or roll off your back, it is perfectly acceptable to say in a low quiet voice "I am sure that you did not intentionally mean to hurt my feelings, but you have. Excuse me I see someone I need to speak with" and WALK AWAY! See, you did not cause a scene or publicly embarrass the sad person that was trying to get your goat, you were polite, firm and left them alone without them getting the last word. Leave them with the words that you spoke not tears or anger. You are FLYing, this means taking care of you……. Finally Loving YOURSELF!!!!You are entitled to a fun, loving, joyful and peaceful holiday season. Do not let anyone take that away from you! FLY through the Holidays!!! Do this for YOU!

I wrote the following to Kelly in regard to her essay:


Kelly,

I can't tell you how much the above essay has helped me. I live with my son and DIL and take care of their son when they are working. Unfortunately, my DIL and I cannot get along! To me, she is a very negative person and everything I do, she criticizes or does over. (Of course, I'm perfect-LOL.) My "pride" has let myself fight back with her when she says something hurtful, but that only causes more problems and is really stressing my poor son out. He says that she has said she worries about causing him stress also. So I've decided that when she is at home, I'll let her do the chores. I'll ask if I can help, but if she says no thanks, I'll take her at her word. And when she says something hurtful, I'll try to calmly say "I know you didn't mean to hurt my feelings, but you did, so please excuse me, I have some things to do in my room."

I've saved your essay in my blog, and I'd like to publish it there; may I have your permission to do so? Thanks so much for your help!

Kelly replied:

You have permission to use it in the blog as long as you give credit to www.flylady.net
The MIL and DIL relationship is a difficult one at best. She is getting something out of criticizing you or re-doing things. What I mean is that she has something that she feels insecure about and it is possible that she sees your help as something that she should have done. Your doing means she didn't. Therefore criticizing or re-doing them make her feel better. Healthy - no, but it is all she has to work with. It also allows her to be a victim of I have to do everything. You will never when the battle or the war when dealing with someone of that mentality. You will have to feel good about what you do and leave it there.

As Dr. Phil will say - this relationship needs a hero. You can be the hero by saying less, do what is needed and loving everyone including yourself.
Love,
Kelly

How Would you Answer these Questions?

1. Name one thing that gives you great joy.
-My friends and family all together.

2. Which would you say is more important, being smart or being happy?
-Being smart, if being smart would preclude me from making stupid choices.

3. What is your favorite quote either from a movie or song?
Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.

4. If someone bet you $100.00 that you couldn't go one week saying only positive, happy, optimistic things, would you win that bet?
No, but I'd sure try.

5. Finish this sentence. "Complete contentment for me is _______."
-Holding a sleeping baby in my arms. When my kids were small, I'd hold them for at least 15 minutes after they fell asleep.

6. If you could relive one day from your past, which day would you choose?
-Fourth of July when I was 16. I spent it at a park with a boy I was crazy about. We picniced, walked through the zoo, rode on carnival rides (he kissed me on one of them). And later, it got cold, so we watched the fireworks cuddled under a blanket. He was so sweet, and a perfect gentleman--DARN IT!!!!

7. When was the last time you cried and laughed at the same time and why did you?
-I can't remember, but it was probably at a funny movie.

8. Tell 2-4 things which you feel are valuable things you've learned in life in the past ten years.
-Don't move in with your son and DIL, no matter if they asked you more than once.
-getting old is a real drag, but it's better than the alternative.

9. Fill in the blanks. "I'd rather be ____ than _____."
-I'd rather be rich than poor.

10. Which one would you pick:

a: A hot cup of chocolate on a snowy evening in front of a fireplace.

b: A warm day by a lake having a picnic with friends/family.

c: A cup of hot cider and apple pie after a walk through a pumpkin patch.

d: Planting flowers and a vegetable garden while smelling the lilacs from a neighbors yard.
-a and b.

The Honeymoon is Over

Today is November 13, and the girls are with their dad again, and Sarah called us and asked if she could stay here tonight. She's avoiding her family, I think because she doesn't want them to see her. I don't know if I've told you, but Kayla met my son Miles when she stood up for Sarah and my son Mike. Kayla and Sarah have been friends all their lives. (The whole thing sounds like something out of Jerry Springer, doesn't it?) Kayla doesn't have the heart to turn her away, and actually, as bitter as I feel toward her, I can't turn her away either. She's the mother of my grandaughters, and besides, no woman deserves to be beaten.
And today, a dear friend of ours was killed at work today. He's a welder and a steel beam fell on his head. Twice before, this happened to him, but it always missed him, but today it didn't. Oregon is a no-fault state, so the company can't be sued, but the president and vice-president of the company were there with his wife, so I think she'll be okay financially, but right now, she's in denial.

Dylan has some tiny stuffed animals that he really likes. This morning, he was playing "daddy" and he tucked his children (4 girls, 1 boy) into "bed" - his favorite blanket that his mother made for him, which he calls his silky. Then he posed with them. How cute is that?

What to do when there's nothing to do

I finished a layout today that I called "What to do When There's Nothing to Do" - it shows Dylan playing a game on his dad's computer, and standing on his head and playing with me - and coloring - all things a 4-year-old likes to do. (Well, four years seems kind of young to know how to navigate a computer, but then, I've always known my grandchildren are special).

Kind of a boring day today--wish something good would happen.

The Purina Diet

I got this from a friend Gabrielle in AMM, and thought it was great! Hope you do too!

The Purina Diet

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked me if I had a dog... I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her NO and that I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital the last time. I had lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's inboth arms. Her eyes just about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet. The way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every timeyou feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.) Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and wasthat why I ended up in the hospital. I said, "Oh NO!, I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me." I thought the tall guy in back of the line was going to have to be carried out.

A Walk in the Park

Dylan and I went to the park today, but it was cold and wet, and there was no one else there, so we didn't stay too long. This is a picture of Dylan running along the walkway in the park.

Later today, Sarah, my ex-DIL, brought the girls over and spent some time with Kayla, Miles' wife. (they were best friends before they were married to my sons.) Aja made some comment about being a "step-Utley" and it hurt so bad. I know I told her it was all right to love her stepdad, but it still hurts, and I know it hurts my son. And whenever someone hurts one of your children, no matter how old they are, you hurt for them.

Dylan's Halloween Costume

Here's Dylan in his pirate costume--the headband kept falling on his eyes! But he loved being Captain Jack Sparrow-his current hero and idol. (Grandma kinda likes Captain Jack, too, at least Johnny Depp's portrayal of him.) I didn't get any Halloween pix of my grandaughters this year--their mom had them this year.

1967 vs. Current

I got this from an online friend. It's pretty funny and thought-provoking, but there are a few things I don't quite agree with. Bringing a gun to school seems a bit much, for instance, and punishing a child with a belt is something I would NEVER advocate!

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1967 - Vice principal comes over to look at Jack's shotgun. He goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, and FBI is called. Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1967 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends.
2007 - Police called. SWAT team arrives. Johnny and Mark are arrested and charged with assault. Both are expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1967 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the principal. He returns to class, sits still, and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey is diagnosed with ADD and given huge doses of Ritalin; becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a learning disability.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1967 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is placed in foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist convinces Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself, and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1967 - Mark shares aspirin with principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called. Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. Car is searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1967 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college, and graduates.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given a diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, and blows up a red ant bed.
1967 - Ants die.
2007 - Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, Homeland Security, and FBI called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates parents; siblings are removed from home; computers confiscated. Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Heather. Heather hugs him to comfort him.
1967 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Heather is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in state prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy.

Making Brownies

Mike made brownies for the girls, and here they are licking the bowl--the best part!!! They're staying an extra night, and everyone is having a nice time.

We Survived a Bad Day

Tonight, my grandaughters and their dad (my son) spent the night here. That part was great, but the reason they were here wasn't.

Last Monday, Sarah, my ex-daughter-in-law, called and asked if I would like to have my grandaughters to spend the night on Friday (tonight). Of course I said yes, even though I knew this was her weekend to have the girls. I didn't find out until a couple days later that she had picked that night to marry the guy she left Mike for after cheating on him for months. Mike's brother, Miles, told me I should refuse to watch them, but I told him that would hurt the girls more than anyone. When Mike found out, he called me and said he'd like to spend the night here with the girls, so of course I was glad to say yes. But all of us think that it was pretty cold of Sarah to call me and want me to keep her kids so she could marry this woman-beater. The ironic thing is that her whole family stayed away except for her mother and her brother.

Sarah called and asked to speak to the girls this afternoon to tell them that she is an Utley now (the name of her new husband). I told the girls that my parents had divorced when I was their age, and you can still love a stepfather even though you love and are loyal to your real father. I hope I helped them. Mike wasn't happy--the divorce only became final about a month ago, and her new husband had beaten her up only a few weeks ago, but he seemed to be okay and glad to be with his kids. So we made it through the night. And Mike made it through this last year, and hasn't had a drink since 4th of July. And he's found a church that is really helping him. So I'm praying that God will help us get through all this.

I've Been Tagged

Five Things on my To Do List for Today:

1. Take my grandaughters to the park.
2. Get back with Flylady--I've been a bad girl lately!
3. Laundry.
4. Clean out fridge.
5. Help my son get through tonight (his ex-wife is getting married today.)

Five Snacks I enjoy:

1. Cheese
2. Popcorn
3. Sour Cream & Cheddar potato chips.
4. Ice Cream.
5. Popcycles.

Five songs I know the lyrics to:

1. Take it Easy by the Eagles.
2. Theme to Sponge-Bob Squarepants.
3. Witchy Woman by the Eagles.
4. You are My Sunshine (My grandma sang it to me, and I sang it to my children and grandchildren)
5. I Saw Her Standing There by the Beatles.

Five of my bad habits:

1. Procrastination.
2. I like to drink wine a teensy little more than it's healthy for me.
3. Too much time surfing the net.
4. Very disorganized.
5. I don't exercise as much as I should.

Five things I'd do if I were a millionaire:

1. Pay off my debts.
2. Pay off my children's debts.
3. Buy myself a house.
4. Give money to my kids so they could buy a house.
5. Travel.

Five things I will never wear again:

1. Revealing clothes (there's too much of me to reveal!)
2. High heels (my feet & back won't allow it)
3. Anything that makes me feel ugly.
4. Horn-rimmed glasses.
5. Anything torn or stained.

Five of my favorite toys:

1. My computer.
2. My camera.
3. My DVR.
4. My scrap punches.
5. My scrap distressing ink.

NOW I TAG THESE PEOPLE TO ANSWER THE SAME:

1. Fred
2. My sister Judy
3. My daughter Valerie.
4. JanTGrits
5. bluegumsmith

Halloween Hangman

Beautiful Poem

Here is a poem that I would like said at my "good-bye party".

When I have come to the end of the road and the sun has set for me,
I want no rites in a gloom-filled room;
Why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little and not too long,
and not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared,
Miss me, but let me go.
For this is a journey that we all must take,
and each must go alone.
It's all part of life's plan,
a step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick at heart,
Go to the family and friends we know,
and bury your sorrows in doing good deeds,
Miss me, but let me go.

author: unknown

I hope that at my last party, my family and friends will gather and do a "shot" on me, and share some of the silly things I've said and done. I'm egotistical enough to want a few tears, but like the poem says, "miss me, but let me go." What do you hope for your last party?

Tractor for Dylan

A friend of ours came over last night and brought Dylan this cool tractor. They got him out of bed, and he was so excited, he didn't go back to bed until about 2 a.m. And then first thing this morning, he got up and got dressed and went out to play with it. Isn't he cute? Oh, and you can see, we're finally getting some fall colors!

Mike and his girls

Here's my oldest child with his kids. Aren't they beautiful? Mike looks better than he has in years! It was taken last week, just before he had to go to a funeral. But he looked so nice, I had to take his picture with the girls. I heard that he stood up and told a funny story about the lady who died, and then also told about how she had helped him last year when he was falling apart, even though she had just found out she was dying. Miles said he did a really nice job speaking.

Funny commercial

Found this on you tube - really funny commerical.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOtqw_IEGh0

Well, someone voted yes that my blog was interesting -- so at least one person has read it. Oh, well, that's something!

Making Birthday Cards

Yesterday, Mike brought the girls over so he could help Sarah move out of Eric's house. While they were here, all of them worked on birthday cards for Mike, who is 35 today! YIKES! How could I be old enough to have a 35-year-old son? Here they are, working on the cards and showing them off.

There was some drama when they tried to get Sarah's stuff---Neighbors called Eric and told them Sarah was there with a U-haul, so he came home. Since she had a restraining order on him, he had to stay away from her, and a cop showed up "just in case." Mike said Eric's mom showed up and called Sarah a tramp. (Actually, I've thought of calling her that also, but...) Anyway, they got Sarah's stuff out and the girls' furniture. Mike is still living with Sarah's grandma and Sarah and the girls are living with Sarah's mom. Sarah asked Mike to get a place with her as her "roommate" and he told her he would have to see how long she would stay away from Eric before he did that. They tried that once before, and Mike had only been there a couple of weeks before Eric moved in and Mike had to move out. I hope he sticks to his guns and waits at least a couple of months.

Beautiful Oregon Weather

Ever heard that silly rumor that it rains a lot in Oregon? Well, this is what it looked like on Friday. See all the hail in the chairs? And we have a couple of skylights in the house, so it looked really cool coming down on the skylight. Plus the sound was really awesome. My grandson couldn't believe all the ice coming down!

It stopped hailing and started raining, and hasn't stopped, except for a few "sun breaks." Now, that was a term I had never heard until I moved to Oregon. But the weatherpeople will talk about rain mixed with showers and a few sun breaks! And that's what really happens--the sun comes out and almost dries things up, and then the clouds come back and it starts raining or showering, or whatever you want to call it.

Birthday party picture

Finally got some pictures of my grandaughter's 6th birthday. Here she is hugging Dylan, my 4-year-old grandson. She's wearing one of her presents - a ballerina outfit. I think her mom is thinking of giving her ballerina lessons - hope so, anyway. I found out Aja (my grandaughter) is having to change schools because her mother is moving to another town, so she'll have to change schools when she only started kindergarten a couple weeks ago. I hope her mother will settle down now. She has moved my granddaughters I don't know how many times ever since s he and my son separated. Their divorce became effective a few weeks ago. I[m hoping my son is over her, because she hurt him so much. Anyway, don't they look cute together?

Rainy Day

Well, it's another rainy day in Oregon, and Dylan is kinda bored, so I gave him some water colors and markers to "create" with. It kept his attention for about half an hour, and now he's watching his hero, Spongebob.

So far, we've played indoor catch, worked on his letters, and did his art work. His mom is at work and his dad is studying, so it's up to me to keep him occupied. Sigh...

Any ideas, anyone?

Dylan

Today, I took Dylan to the park and he met a new friend, and he was so sad when we had to leave that he actually cried. He really should be in pre-school, he needs to be around other kids. I felt so bad for him!

Names

I found this on someones blog, who found it on some ones blog, who found it on someones blog...warning: Some of it makes absolutely no sense.

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car), Sparky Bus
2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie), Vanilla Snickerdoodle
3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name), L-poi
4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal), Blue Kitten
5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born), Ruth Bloomington
6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first), Poin-li
7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink), The Yellow Wine
8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers), J.N. Elmer
9. STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy), Chantilly Fudge
10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names ), Fay Edward
11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter), Thom Tampa
12. SPY NAME: (your favorite season/holiday, flower). Autumn Lilac
13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”) Banana Shirty.
14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree), Coffee Weeping Willow
15. YOUR ROCK STAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”), The Scrapping Rain Tour

I'm BAAAAACK!!!

Been a long time since I've been here; but now I'm in a challenge by AMM to post to blogs, so I decided I'd better get going.

This is a picture my daughter took of me. She's a photographer for Lifetouch Photo Studios and she takes school pictures, so I told her to take one of me pretending I'm the student. So, after giving me the instructions, "lift your head a little, tilt your head to the right, raise your chin, etc.", this is how it came out.

Hmm, fascinating post, right? Sure hope I can get some blog tips.

Day After Surgery

Looks pretty good, doesn't it? They didn't have to do as much as they did in the first surgery, thank God. And he was so good! Kayla had prepared him for it, so he wasn't at all scared, except maybe right before they gave him the anashetic, he had a small "panic attack," but hey - adults are the same way before surgery, right?

The picture on the left, he's playing with one of the toy cars his mom & dad got for him as a "comfort" gift. He was pretty tired from the whole ordeal - the surgery itself only took about an hour, but he was at the hospital for about 4 hours total. But the doctors said he might not need any more surgeries. When you think about how bad cleft palates can be, you realize how lucky he is.

Dylan has surgery tomorrow

Dylan is having his second cleft lip surgery tomorrow morning. Shiner's did his first surgery when he was two years old, because Miles' insurance wouldn't cover it-they said it was "only cosmetic." They did a good job, but as Dylan has grown, his face has grown too. Even though you can barely see the cleft lip, you don't know for sure how it will affect him later in life. And now Miles has insurance that will cover his surgery. It's only minor surgery, and it certainly could be much worse, but still, it's scary for a little one to have surgery.

It's Saturday - Kayla worked graveyard last night so I've tried to keep Dylan away from her so she can get some rest. Miles is watching Dylan until around 3 and then he'll have to go to work, so I'm planning on taking Dylan to the park for awhile so Kayla can get more rest. She has to work graveyard again tonight.


Just found out that I'll be watching the girls next Monday too - until Eric picks them up at 4:30. Yuk, I have to be polite to that snake. I saw Sarah yesteday, and her black eye was still swollen shut.

Friday

Kayla was on a rampage last night. Gotta get out of here after Miles leaves for work.

Didn't get out fast enough. She made some comment to Miles about "If we hadn't bought a house, we could be living alone." And so I asked her if she wanted me to move out. And she looked really shocked, like how could I think such a thing? But I reminded her about how she told everyone I would be homeless if it weren't for her. And I told her about how I hated the way she was ranting and raving last night, and how I actually took a picture of how she loads the dishwasher. She said that was retarded. She said if she wanted me out, she would say she wanted me out. Once again, she acts so innocent and surprised.

I called Carol and we went to the DMV and I finally got my Oregon ID. Now I'll be able to get a new social security card. And I had a chance to vent everything to Carol. When I got back, Kayla apologized, and she said something like "everyone says I've been too hard on you." So we've been getting along better for awhile, but I really don't know how long it will last.

Day After

Today was so hot, I was just miserable. Mike decided to move into his estranged wife's grandma's house for awhile. He said he couldn't stay here where everyone was drinking. And Valerie is seriously looking for her own apartment. Kayla has made her so miserable-and I may ask her if I could join her. I'm only 60 years old, why should I spend time being miserable?

FLYLADY 7/5/07



MORNING ROUTINE:



1. Get up and weigh 235.5.

2. Shower and get dressed to lace up shoes, fix your hair and face 9 a.m.

3. While you are in the bathroom Swish and Swipe 9:30 a.m.

4. Empty dishwasher to start your day Kayla did this - complained that no one else can load a dishwasher.

7. Eat something good for you and take your medicine and vitamins Ate leftover potato salad and hamburger from yesterday.

8. Drink your water. 10 a.m.,



FLYLADY MISSION:




We are heading into the Entrance area of your home today. Let's graball those shoes, books and jackets that seem to pile up right by thefront door and put them away. In my house, no one ever drops theirthings there, they get up and walk there all by themselves! LOL!Grab these things and set your timer. I bet you can do this in lessthan 15 minutes

Happy Fourth of July!

Fireworks in the backyard. Miles did a great job!

We had a great time, although we did have some serious problems. Mike had a seizure, which is probably from his drinking over the weekend. He wanted us to take him to the hospital, but we knew they couldn't do any good for him and he would just run up more medical bills.

And Kayla was announced to everyone that if it weren't for her, I would be homeless. All her friends laughed, but it really hurt me.

The day was so hot, I couldn't even go to the parade, and the kids had to come home early from it. But they all had fun and came home with face paintings.

Aja had her face painted with a red,white, and blue heart. She looked so cute.

Lynzi got a muscle painting of the same thing.

And of course, Dylan got a "muscle" painting that he was so proud of. What a little "macho man" he is!
Kayla and Miles put up a net and the kids all took lessons. Here's Dylan trying to return a serve.

We filled up the kids' pool, and Larry grabbed Dylan and threatened to dunk him head-first. Dylan was NOT amused!
The gang relaxes before starting the BBQ.

My Morning Routine:

1. Get up and weigh Weighed 232.5!!! I'm losing weight! Hard to believe I'm so happy at this weight, but my highest weight was 247.

2. Shower and get dressed to lace up shoes, fix your hair and face. 10 a.m.

3. While you are in the bathroom Swish and Swipe 10 a.m.

4. Grab a load of laundry and start the washer No laundry today - it's a holiday, and too hot, anyway.

5. Eat something good for you and take your medicine and vitamins Cheerios & meds.

7. Drink your water. 10:30, 11:30, 1:30 etc.,

Task from yesterday:

Wipe down the patio furniture and your front door. Not done.

Mission for Today:

Today take a look at the walls and the windows in your dining room.Grab some cleaner and a cloth and go after the finger prints andsmudges that those mysterious little elves seem to leave behind asthey run through your house when no one is looking! LOLBe careful with the walls as not to rub too hard to remove paint ifyou have a flat finish. Not done.

Tuesday, Tuesday

Today, Kayla found a 4-foot long scratch on the hardwood floor where I sit. It's not the first scratch on the floor, and I guess I'll have to stop sitting there. She's going to make my life miserable over it; I wonder if I can find a way to fix it? I'll have to check the Internet.

My morning routine for today:

1. Get up and weigh 234.6 LOST A POUND!!!

2. Get dressed to lace up shoes, fix your hair and face 7:30 a.m.

3. While you are in the bathroom Swish and Swipe 9:31 a.m.

4. Grab a load of laundry and start the washer Move to afternoon chore.

5. Empty dishwasher to start your day Time finished: 8 a.m.

6. Eat something good for you and take your medicine and vitamins Ate cheerios, took morning meds.

7. Drink your water. 1 glass 9:32 a.m.; 1 glass noon; 1 glass 2 p.m.; forgot to log in the rest of the water, but Iknow I did my 8 glasses today;

Today is Tuesday. Have some fun today and take care of you!

Tasks carried over from Monday:

1. Polish mirrors and doors.


2. We are in Zone 1 this week, that is the Front Porch, the Entrancearea and the Dining Room.Today you are to sweep your front porch area around your front door.Shake out your welcome mats and wipe down the patio furniture and your front door. Thismakes a huge difference in how your home looks. We have a tendencyto neglect this area and yet it is the first thing that people seewhen they come to your home.Spend 15 minutes taking care of this, you will be pleased with theresults!Kelly Did all this, but forgot to wipe down the patio furniture. Will do this tomorrow.

Zone Work:

We are going to have a multi room mission today, it might take youlonger than 15 minutes to do it, so set your timer for each room andFLY through it!For the Front Porch, Entrance and Dining Room, put out the fires thatare burning in your hot spots. Get rid of the pile of shoes by thefront door, get rid of the pile of junk mail and put away themagazines and school papers that are piled on the dining room table.They are smoldering so get to it! Cleaning lady took care of this today.

Do a load of laundry. Done.

Flylady

I try to follow Flylady's rules everyday. Here is the morning routine she suggests:


Your Morning Routine Puts You on Auto-Pilot

Date:

Monday July 2, 2007
Time:

8:00 am - 8:00 am
Repeats:

This event repeats every week.
Notes:

We are going to build a Morning Routine for your Control Journal or tojust post on the refrigerator.

Here is what I do.

1. Get up and weigh Weighed 235.8.
2. Shower and get dressed to lace up shoes, fix your hair and face. Showered 9 a.m.
3. While you are in the bathroom Swish and Swipe. Done.
4. Grab a load of laundry and start the washer I do my laundry later in the day.
5. Check your calendar for today's activities What activities?
6. Empty dishwasher to start your day Done 10 a.m
7.Eat something good for you and take your medicine and vitamins Bowl of cereal, took meds.
8. Drink your water.

Today is Monday and we do or start our Weekly Home Blessing Hour

This is the time FlyLady spends blessing her home. No detailed cleaning required; vacuum the middle of the floors only!FlyLady sets her timer for 10 minutes to work on each of 7 ways to bless your home:

Vacuum I was going to do this, but it's too hot, and besides, Kayla's "cleaning lady" will do that tomorrow.
Dust - Dusted the living room.
Mop - NO WAY--cleaning lady again
Polish Mirrors and Doors Move chore to tomorrow
Change Sheets Changed
Empty all trash Emptied

This takes approximately one hour; some tasks take less than 10 minutes."Don't obsess, set your timer for 10 minutes for each task, then QUIT!" ~ Kelly

We are in Zone 1 this week, that is the Front Porch, the Entrancearea and the Dining Room.Today you are to sweep your front porch area around your front door.Shake out your welcome mats and wipe down your front door. Thismakes a huge difference in how your home looks. We have a tendencyto neglect this area and yet it is the first thing that people seewhen they come to your home.Spend 15 minutes taking care of this, you will be pleased with theresults!Kelly Move Chore to Tomorrow

July 1, 2007

I took Dylan to the park today and got some cute pics of him, but I think he was kind of bored. There weren't any kids there, so he had to play by himself. I'm going to start bringing him there earlier so there will be more kids there.

Two Points for Me

Yesterday, Kayla yelled at me for giving Dylan a butter and cheese sandwich around 5 p.m. And today, Miles gave him the same thing, so she was really embarassed. I knew I had seen them give him stuff like that around 5 p.m. Sad that I have to count things like that, but that's the way it is.

Mike's back

He's back after a two-day bender, drank a whole bottle of whiskey, and he looks it. He looks like he really is ashamed of himself, which he should. Valerie isn't sure she wants to get an apartment with him, and i can't blame her. I was so hoping that they could help each other out, but now I don't know...

He's been spending most of the day out in Miles' garage sleeping in his recliner chair that is stored there. I don't know what he'll do tonight.

I took Dylan to the park today, and he was so darn cute! He went up to a little girl and asked if she wanted to play with him, and her mother just loved him! Then they were swinging, and Dylan was talking about caterpillars turning from crystals into butterflies, and telling stories about bears. The lady said I should take notes so I wouldn't forget. Haha, I didn't tell her about this blog, but it sure does make me feel good.

TAG YOU'RE IT

Tag, I'm It...7 Facts I saw this game on a message board. Here are the rules: each player must write 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to blog about their 7 things and post the rules as well. At the end of the blog, you need to choose 5 people to get tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog. (If you don't have a blog, let me know, and I'll send you a link to blogspot, where my blog is. It's really easy and fun.

So now for my 7 things:

1. My first creative love was weaving potholders, writing, and crewel.
2. I fantasize about having one of my scrap layouts published. (It was more fun when I fantasized about men, but--see # 3.)
3. I' m a bona fide baby boomer who turned 60 this year.
4. I was a virgin on my wedding night, and sometimes I regret that, because I was really ignorant.
5. This year is my second time watching American Idol. (Shocking, huh?)
6. I love the Pacific Northwest, but I still have a lot of Midwest Girl in me.
7. I can't swim - I've been afraid of water all my life.

I'm tagging, JanTGrits, musicmom42kids, ladytw, jennifer, and aussiemum. TAG YOU"RE IT!!!! Hope I hear from them!

Well, Mike's not back yet, it's 9:15 a.m. Valerie told Kayla where he was; she hates being lied to, so she couldn't lie to Kayla. Which made me look kind of bad since I hadn't said anything yet. I was going to tell her, but Valerie did before me. Valerie was kind of mad at Mike for putting her in that position, and I was too. Kayla said she thought it was probably something like that. I can see how Kayla and Miles get impatient with Mike-he's so into creating drama. Why should he not want people to know where he is? I can understand why he wants some time to himself, though. Maybe sometime the three of us could go in on a hotel room or something. That way, Miles & Kayla and Dylan could have some alone time.

Bad Day for Mike

Sarah started cheating on Mike a year ago last July, and they've been separated since about November. In May, he decided to be her "roommate" so he could be with the kids and it would be easier to pay child support when he was living with her. We all knew it was a mistake, but he wanted to try. But it only lasted a month and then Eric moved in, so Mike moved in with us. Valerie moved in with us until she could find a place of her own, so now our whole family is here. (I was invited to move in for $500 a month, so I was already here.)

Mike has taken care of his girls all week so far, and I thought he was getting stronger. He came into my room this morning and told me that when he gets a job and a place of his own, he's going to try for custody. He watches them most of the time, and when he doesn't, her family has them. And he buys the food for them when they're with us. But today, when Sarah came to pick them up, she was showing off her big new engagement ring. He said he's going to stay in a motel room tonight so he can be alone and get drunk. He promised me that was all he would do. I'm really worried.

Dishes and More

My DIL was in a bad mood this morning. I had loaded the dishes in the dishwasher, but she didn't like the way I did it, so she threw a bunch of them into the sink and re-did it her way. So after she left, I took a picture of her way, so the next time, I would have proof that I did it her way. (There are plastic things in the bottom, and she told me before not to put plastics in the bottom.) Not easy living with a DIL who doesn't really do anything but complain about how someone else does things.

Mike was watching the girls again today, and we were playing some Beatle songs. Dylan and Aja started dancing, and they looked SO cute!!!

I think "Prudence" was playing. I also got a short video of them. As soon as I figure out how to post a movie, I'll do that too.

Mike is watching the girls while Sarah is at work today. They've been playing with Dylan all day, and right now, Miles has some music on his computer playing - "Girl, You've Really Got Me Now" originally by The Kinks. I don't know who sings it now, but it's a good version, and my grandkids are really rockin' out.

Another Creation

Well, here's my latest -- a scrapbook layout of a day when Dylan was playing with his dad's water hose. And then Aja and Lynzi came by and played in the kiddie pool and had more fun. There's a picture here showing Miles spraying the girls in the pool, too. It's not my best layout, but it still shows a little bit of daily life.

New Car

Miles and Kayla got a new car yesterday - a 2006 Chevy Malibu! They traded in their Santa Fe SUV for a smaller car. They had a lot of negative equity on the Santa Fe, and the price of gas is horrible - almost $4 a gallon now. So the new car will be much more economical -- and it's pretty cool too. Dylan was really excited when his mom called and said she had shiny new car for him.

Mike bought some home fireworks -- they're already on sale now, and Dylan was so excited. Lynzi and Aja were always scared of the noise, but Dylan was literally jumping up & down.

After the park

AFTER we got back from the park, the kids were hot and cranky, so Mike got out the sprinklers so they could run through them. The whole procedure, which included finding the sprinklers, setting them up, then moving them to a better location, then finding the girls' bathing suits, putting them on, etc., took about half an hour. The girls spent 5 minutes under the sprinklers and then whined they were cold and needed to go inside. Mike looked at me and said, "mom, why did I have kids?"


After Mike gave the kids all "power showers" I helped Aja decorate a container to put her tooth in for the tooth fairy. She's done crafts with me since she was 3, and I hope that crafts always keep us close. She really has an artistic talent, I think. Then Dylan watched as she put the tooth in the decorated tupperware container and they all got ready for bed. (The girls were spending the night tonight.)

A Day in the Park

It was a beautiful day today, so we walked to the park with the kids-Valerie went with Mike and me and the three kids-Aja, Dylan, and Lynzi. Almost as soon as we got there, Dylan and Mike relaxed under a tree. Mike brought the video game with him, but Dylan took it over. Can't believe how much a 3-year-old can like an adult video game, but he does...

We did finally get Lynzi and Dylan on the swings, and they had fun singing Itsy Bity Spider and all the rest of their song list while I pushed them. Got a picture of Valerie on the merry-go-round.

After awhile, Lynzi relaxed with Mike. I don't think Mike moved from under that tree except when he had to take Dylan to the bathroom (in a portapotty--yuk). On the way to the portapotty (yuk), Dylan saw some construction workers digging a hole, and he asked them if they were digging for treasure. Then he told them that X marked the spot. He was so cute-the construction guys got a big kick out of him. Hope he will always make friends so easily.

I think Dylan liked climbing up the slide more than the actual slide itself. I got a really cute pic of Aja at the top of the slide too.

At one point, Aja took a picture of me--it actually turned out pretty good! Bye for now!