I finished a layout today that I called "What to do When There's Nothing to Do" - it shows Dylan playing a game on his dad's computer, and standing on his head and playing with me - and coloring - all things a 4-year-old likes to do. (Well, four years seems kind of young to know how to navigate a computer, but then, I've always known my grandchildren are special).
Kind of a boring day today--wish something good would happen.
I got this from a friend Gabrielle in AMM, and thought it was great! Hope you do too!
The Purina Diet
I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked me if I had a dog... I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her NO and that I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital the last time. I had lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's inboth arms. Her eyes just about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet. The way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every timeyou feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.) Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and wasthat why I ended up in the hospital. I said, "Oh NO!, I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me." I thought the tall guy in back of the line was going to have to be carried out.
Dylan and I went to the park today, but it was cold and wet, and there was no one else there, so we didn't stay too long. This is a picture of Dylan running along the walkway in the park.
Later today, Sarah, my ex-DIL, brought the girls over and spent some time with Kayla, Miles' wife. (they were best friends before they were married to my sons.) Aja made some comment about being a "step-Utley" and it hurt so bad. I know I told her it was all right to love her stepdad, but it still hurts, and I know it hurts my son. And whenever someone hurts one of your children, no matter how old they are, you hurt for them.
I got this from an online friend. It's pretty funny and thought-provoking, but there are a few things I don't quite agree with. Bringing a gun to school seems a bit much, for instance, and punishing a child with a belt is something I would NEVER advocate!
Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1967 - Vice principal comes over to look at Jack's shotgun. He goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, and FBI is called. Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1967 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends.
2007 - Police called. SWAT team arrives. Johnny and Mark are arrested and charged with assault. Both are expelled even though Johnny started it.
Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1967 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the principal. He returns to class, sits still, and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey is diagnosed with ADD and given huge doses of Ritalin; becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a learning disability.
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1967 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is placed in foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist convinces Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself, and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.
Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1967 - Mark shares aspirin with principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called. Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. Car is searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1967 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college, and graduates.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given a diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, and blows up a red ant bed.
1967 - Ants die.
2007 - Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, Homeland Security, and FBI called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates parents; siblings are removed from home; computers confiscated. Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Heather. Heather hugs him to comfort him.
1967 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Heather is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in state prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy.
